And With You Also

The cable news yesterday was all about the one-year anniversary of the Popeship (Popitude? Popage?) of Benny No.16. Oddly enough he actually seems like a reasonably nice fellow, if you can look past that ever-furrowed, perpetually-nervous looking kisser--I swear, he looks like Nixon in a tiara. I didn't have enormous hopes for him, so even the minor fact that the Congregation for the Doctrine of the Faith has not yet been issued new "purification kits" of tongs and kindling qualifies as a positive sign in my book. But if I can beg one favor, Benny, let it be this: Live. I know you're 140 or something, but try and make it at least another decade or two. For some reason, a papal transition brings out the absolute worst in journalists; perhaps it is the rarity of the occurrence, but they seem to feel free to attempt "clever" headlines of the kind to make one earnestly wish to be stricken with severe aphasia. "Keep Pope Alive," "Terms of Empopement," "Big Popin'"--the Inquisition is too good for some people.